The end of personal care?

What about continuity of care?

Sidney: I’d like to see doctor Tomlinson please

Receptionist: Is it about a pre-existing or a new problem?

Sidney: Eh? I just wanted to see my doctor

Receptionist: I won’t be a moment sir, just a few questions. Now is it about an old problem or a new one?

Sidney: Old, I suppose

Receptionist: Very good. Would you describe it heart and circulation, lungs and breathing, or ‘other’?

Sidney: Couldn’t I just discuss it with doctor Tomlinson?

Receptionist: Won’t be long sir, now was that heart, lungs or ‘other’

Sidney: It’s about my diabetes

Receptionist: I was just coming to that sir, you’ve jumped ahead, but nevermind. Now you have several exciting choices

Sidney: Couldn’t I just choose to see my doctor?

Receptionist: I’m sure that won’t be necessary sir. Now, would you like to go to the Britania skip-fit diabetic weight-loss class, the Little Chef healthy eating course, the Clark’s soft and comfy footwear clinic, the Specsavers Retina Chekka, the Dyna-rod renal one-stop or the counsellor? If you’ve paid into the United rapid access fund you get the first choice for appointments

Sidney: What the hell? Where’s doctor Tomlinson

Receptionist: I’m afraid he’s not here sir

Sidney: Well when is he back? I’ll wait.

Recptionist: He won’t be coming back here sir, but you might be able to see him at the 24/7 patient satisfaction drop-in centre once he’s finished his efficiency management course.